We must remember that all behaviors have purpose goal. We must remember that if we response to the child’s behavior (the problem) this will not address the purpose of the child’s behavior. We are only perpetuating the problem. We must model how we would like to be spoken to.
Dealing with the misbehaving goal called power, we are feeling angry, provoked, challenged, threatened, defeated or disrespected. At this time, we are in the impulse mode to push back, to fight back, we are thinking “you can’t get away with that or I’ll make you behave or give in”, we are insisting on being respected.
The Child’s power behavior is saying let me help. Give me choices. I want to feel capable.
Our strategy to deal with the power behavior is to defuse. We should model good anger management. We should acknowledge that we can’t make them and ask for their help. We should offer them limited choices. We should be firm and kind. We should follow through on our agreement.
Dealing with a love one, we should prayerfully seek God’s guidance on how to lovingly interact with this child, who is loved and covered under God’s grace and mercy.
“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it” (Prov. 22:6).
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